When I had was pregnant with my first child, I could have never imagined what a “roller coaster ride” would ensue. Things were normal at first, but quickly changed when I was admitted to hospital bed rest at 25 weeks pregnant. After spending a total of 43 days in the hospital on strict bed rest, I learned how to manage like a pro.
Actually if you’re an expectant mom on hospital bed rest then, you’ll want to read my Daily Hospital Checklist for Expectant Moms, which you can get right now:
I am not saying that it was not difficult, because it was. But, how you handle any unplanned situation (such as hospital bed rest) during your pregnancy can make all the difference. And just to be clear, bed rest in the comfort of your home is totally different than bed rest in a sterile clinical setting.
Be Thankful
One of the first things that you should do if you find out that you have to be on hospital bed rest is to be thankful for the intervention. Unfortunately, many women with compromised pregnancies, don’t get the opportunity go on bed rest and the situation can turn more dire than it began. Mandated bed rest is an opportunity to give your baby the best chance at being totally equipped to face the world ahead. It’s hard, it’s challenging, but you are not at the end of your rope.
Writing in gratitude journal daily is a great place to start.
Stop Playing the Blame Game
What if you had done this? If only you would have done that, then maybe you would have not been in this predicament? You know what? You can go on and on but it’s not going change your circumstances now. As a matter of fact, doing things differently than you had before may even give you the same result. While you can speculate all you want, not even the doctors always know why some things end up like they do. So do yourself a favor and stop blaming yourself. Self pity and guilt does not become you.
Keep a Routine
Now time to get down to the “nitty gritty”. Everyone one has a routine. While some routines are more extensive and detailed than others, they are our own. Keeping up with your “normal” routine is pretty simple when you are in your own environment and you can walk around and do things for yourself. But, what happens when your sense of normalcy is shaken? You develop a new sense of normal. When I was on hospital bed rest, it was the first time since coming into adulthood that I had to be totally reliant on someone else. I was restricted to the hospital bed to eat, to brush my teeth, to bathe, to use the bathroom… I felt like my very dignity was being stripped from me.
But, you know what? I got over my ego really quickly. I realized that this journey that I was on was so was so much bigger than myself and my ego. So, I developed a routine. My routine involved waking up at a specific time each day, even if my only job at the time was to stay in the hospital bed and provide a warm place for my baby to grow. I had times designated to read, time for prayer, time for food, time for grooming, time for couponing (even if I could not use them at the time), and a time for friends and visitors.
A quick tip: This is a great time to read all those magazines, and books that you may have not time to read before your extended stay. Ask family and friends to bring some reading material over when they visit.
The book What to Expect When You’re Expecting is a great book to read.
Spice up the Atmosphere
One of the best pieces of advice that I got in the hospital was to think of the hospital as my “my residence, my home away from home”. I initially thought it was a “load of crap”, but that advice from my nurse really went a long way. I had my husband go to our home and bring back framed family pictures and my wall calendar to spice up those bland white walls. My room was filled with sounds of music from my favorite playlists many times of the day. I made a conscious effort to only watch cable TV during a designated one hour period…supposedly preventing my brain from turning to mush. A friend even brought over some air fresheners for the room to get rid of that “clinical smell”. Beautiful flowers lined the window sill in vibrant colors and pretty cases, which I had collected from the generosity of visitors past. We converted the small linen closet cubby to a make-shift pantry and kept it stocked with my favorite cereals, snacks and fruit. Believe me when I say, “You should not solely depend on the hospital food for your nourishment”.
Document Your Memories
Keeping a wall calendar is essential to get though your “temporary” and I stress “temporary stay”. Depending on your situation, your “care team” may not even tell you when you will be going home. When I was admitted, no one would tell me about anything pertaining to going home until that time was 5 days away. Seeing my husband write an “x” on the wall calendar after each passing day made me feel a sense of victory… a sense of accomplishment. If you don’t do any of following things on this list, you really should follow through with this one. As a bonus you can keep the calendar as a memento. Why would you want to keep a memento of such an experience you may ask? Well, I keep it to remind myself that whenever things get rough, no matter what I am going through, that the situation is only temporary.
(Cross of the days as you go with this wall calendar).
Additionally, consider taking photos of all your visitors and documenting your experience by keeping a photo journal. You could also write a daily journal, whatever works for you. For me, I am quite visual so a photo journal was the way to go. Even three years later, I often refer to my photo journal and share it with family and friends. One day, when my daughter is old enough, I will share it with her.
Update: My little girl is now 8 years old and does get a thrill seeing all the friends that came to visit and “reminiscing” about all the “fireworks” that she came into the world with.
Continue Self Preservation & Grooming
Believe it or not, you can lose yourself in the process of being on hospital bed rest. No massages, no coffee dates, no waxing appointments, as a matter of fact…no shaving, no hair appointments…you get the picture. But instead of thinking of what you can’t do, think about what you can do. You can’t get your brows waxed at your favorite spot but you can tweeze your brows. You can’t go and get your hair “done” at your favorite hairdresser but you can continue to comb your hair and wear a pretty scarf on your head. So you get the picture…wear your favorite pair of earrings, wear some great lipstick, polish your nails, give yourself a facial! You are on hospital bed rest but you are not in prison.
As a matter of fact, keep a hand held mirror at your bedside along with some lip balm. Chapped lips are just not cute.
While you are at it, work on your mental health as well. Prayer, meditation, puzzles, reading or just “gabbing” with a friend can be great emotional and mental boosters. Trust me when I say, you will truly need it. Never deny the power of the mind.
Encourage Friends and Visitors
Besides my husband, (my co-resident at the hospital for 43 days) having visitors to my hospital room made all the difference. I was blessed enough to have someone visit us almost every day. Keep in mind that most people just want to help and show support to you and your family. So if they ask “What can I bring?”, tell them! My stay became more manageable when friends brought in reading material, favorite cereals, great meals (unless your diet is restricted per doctor’s orders), my favorite snacks, fruits, DVD’s and even air fresheners, made my stay more comfortable. Allowing people to visit during this very vulnerable time is one of the best things that you can do. It puts you in contact with the outside world, it strengthens you, and it relieves you. So don’t shun the outside world out. Let people in. But if you need a break from the calls, the texts, the visits, just tell your friends “Hey, today is not a good day, maybe tomorrow”. Because believe me when I say, tomorrow…tomorrow will be a better day.
At the end of the day, I am blessed and highly favored. I have overcome and have a beautiful daughter as a result.
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Update (02/20): If you’re reading this right now, that little girl that I was on bed rest with for almost 2 months is now 10 years old! You can do this. Original article published March 26, 2013.
But first get my Daily Hospital Checklist for Expectant Moms from someone who knows exactly what it feels like to be where you are right now.
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Comments ( 29 )
Wendy
Yay! Congratulations Lisa:)
LisaDLS
Thanks Wendy!
jenny Leslie
Yeah, I remembered a ‘certain person’ enjoying her thanksgiving meal prepared by her mom while on hospital bed rest. It was great to see a smile on her face!
LisaDLS
Yes indeed. Mamas always make everthing better. And the food did not hurt either.
Lauren @ Mom Home Guide
Hi! I am glad everything turned out well in the end! I was on bed rest (at home, though) for two months before my twins were born. When my blood pressure spiked, they put me in the hospital and were planning on having me there for two months. But by the end of the week, they had to deliver my babies by emergency C-section – at 32 weeks. I didn’t see them for the first two days of their lives, but everything has worked out!
onlyageeky1
YAY for everything working out!! congrats and good luck in the future!
Norine of Science Of Parenthood
So many people don’t realize how hard bed rest really is. Thanks for telling your story and offering such great tips. Stopping by from SITS!
LisaDLS
Yes, there is misconception that it must be “fun” to stay in a bed all day…relaxing even. Ugh…not so much.
Sara
Hi this makes me feel like I’m not the only one out there going through this. I’m 26 weeks and 2 days and was put on bedrest 4 days ago in the hospital. I keep going back to myself to blame and you are right I need to stop. Be blessed I’m here and start my new routine. Thank you for your post!
LisaDLS
Sarah, you are so welcome. Reading your words makes me feel grateful that I decided to share. What I realize now so many years later, is not only was that period in my life a time of challenge but, a time of growth. I wish you and your family tremendous health, wellness and growth. {Hugs} to you.
cynthiamurdoch
I was recently on forced “sofa” rest when I broke my ankle. Even though I spend much of my day on the computer or reading, the fact that I was restricted to the house and to the sofa felt so confining. I got through it with the help of many of my wonderful friends and family. Sometimes these situations make us realize how to appreciate those little things in life that we take for granted. I wish I would have read about your new routines earlier – it would have helped a lot.
LisaDLS
Awe Cynthia. I am so sorry to hear that. Yes, it is those times in our lives that we realize we have to rely on the love and kindness of others. It is a lesson in humility, I certainly hope that you are 100% now.
priya
Dear lisa
I m on bedrest since 12th week of my pregnancy, reached 22 weeks today. I m anxious of surviving more. I don’t have schedule. Can u Help me with schedule? I have weak internet connection. I m alone as dh works till late at night. I also have problem of anxiety issues with time that I m trying to work on. I m not very crafty person.pls help, I seriously need it. I really got inspired by story but can’t make schedule. I have insomnia.
LisaDLS
Hi Priya. First I want tell you congratulations on your pregnancy. You are little more than have way there. What did you do before becoming pregnant? What were your days like? The schedule that will build will loosely model the life you had prior to bedrest. So, set your alarm for a certain time everyday and wake up regardless of if you have something to do or not. Brush and floss your teeth, pray/devotion/meditate, comb your hair, do your makeup, have breakfast. After breakfast, build in other activities like reading, puzzles, allow friends and family to visit during these times even if you are not always up to it.That will help keep your spirits up. Keep a journal and write about your feelings and concerns. Talk to your healthcare team openly and honestly about your anxiety and insomnia issues, they will be willing to help…part of their job is to help you! Lastly, focus on what life will be like on after your bring your baby home…think positive.Remember that there is a mind and body connection. Take care of your mind, so you can help to take care of your body.
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Jacque
You have a lovely spirit! Your story is inspiring and uplifting for ladies and loved ones in this situation.
I’m 42 and pregnant with twins. I’m trying to plan ahead just in case I’ll be on bed rest at some point. We have a three year old so I would want the experience to be as positive as possible for all of us. I plan to freeze portioned meals and have our sons schedule, likes and dislikes written out. I’m also going to get all of our baby supplies and car seats as soon as I’ve reached the 14 wk milestone. Is there anything else you can think of in regards to keeping my Husband and son going along as normally as possible?
In the hospital, do you wear the gowns or your own clothes? Are you even allowed to change clothes or is that too much movement?
LisaDLS
Congratulations on your pregnancy Jacque! I really hope that you won’t have to be on bed rest. In addition to the things you’ve mentioned, I recommend talking to trusted family and friends about giving dad a break by setting up play dates and other outtings that doesn’t involve your husband for your son. Mom being on bed rest is a very emotionally taxing time for you and your family. Your husband probably won’t complain but the truth is, if you end up on bed rest ( I hope you won’t) hubby will need a break too. In a two parent household, all of a sudden being solely responsible for running a household with young kids can be a bit much to bare. This would be great for your son as well.
If you happen to be in a hospital on extended stay (bed rest) but otherwise healthy, you can definitely wear your own clothes. The main thing is that you are comfortable, keep body parts accessible for check up, blood draws and such & where your hospital wrist band at all times. Lastly, there is a toy called Cloud Pets. Cloud Pets allows parents to leave messages for their children using their phone which gets sent directly to the plush bear for retrieval. It makes it feel like mom is close by even if she’s far away. Your son in turn will be able to send message to you too.
Hope this helps. Be well.
Lisa W
I’m on day five of hospital bed rest. Today has been my first really hard day. Thank you for your post! It has really helped me.
LisaDLS
I’m so glad it had. I think that it is no coincidence that you stumbled upon when you did.
Amber
I’m on hospital bedrest as I type this and it’s hard I’m about to go crazy
LisaDLS
I’ve been there. You are going to get through this. Ask your visitors to bring books and board games. Get lost in blogs. You may even think about starting a journal. You are stronger than you know.
SaMa
Hello Lisa,
Today is my day 50 at hospital bed rest. I was able to manage well till yesterday when my ObGyn ordered me to stay till birth whereas I was promised and expecting to get out. I have to admit that it totally frustrated me and I am feeling depressed. (Although, now I M allowed to go to bathroom, which is relieving as it wasn’t the case before). Yet, It s hard to think that I still have at least 21 days!
I read your experience and how u survived! That seems helpful and encouraging as it gave me new ideas to think about !
So thanks 🙂
La plume de mon Imagination
Thank you for this. Im 24 weeks pregnant with twins and have been on bed rest for the past 3 weeks (1 at home and 2 at the hospital). I was a little discouraged but will follow your advice on having a set routine.
Thank you,
LisaDLS
Glad you find the article useful. Hang tight. We’re rooting for you.