How My Son Wears His Hair is None of Your Business

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How my son wears his hair is none of your business. There. I said it.


young boy with big natural afro

Every time you ask,

“How long are you going to let it grow?” or “When is mommy going to cut your hair?” That’s what I want to say. But, I don’t. Instead I grit my teeth and say something more socially acceptable like, “We haven’t decided yet”. Or…”When we want to”. The truth is, asking when I am going to cut my son’s hair is akin to asking, “Why don’t you wear your hair straight?” or “Why don’t you wear hair curly?” “Why are you wearing locks?”.

Unless we are on the BFF level, then let’s just leave that alone. OK?
Maybe I would be fine with this line of questioning if it had something to do with his health.

Something like, “Why are you feeding your child sugar dusted sugar O’s for breakfast?”

His education?

“Why does he know all the words to Young Geezy’s latest tune but, doesn’t know his ABC’s”?

But unfortunately it doesn’t. This line of questioning has more to do with a personal preference in style and grooming versus the child’s actual well being.

So stop asking me.

Stop throwing hints.

And don’t you dare call him out of his name.

Just as folks focused on two time Olympic Medalist’s Gabby Douglas’ hair during the summer Olympics while she was making history, and had a weirdly fascinating obsession with Blu Ivy’s hair just over a hair ago…you’ve lost focus.

One day, his hair may fit into that neat, tidy category of what society considers normal.

Maybe it’ll be today?

Maybe tomorrow?

I’m pretty sure that no one that doesn’t sleep under our roof will have anything to do with that decision. So, it’s time to let hairy tales go.

Quite frankly you’ve crossed the line.

How my gift, my joy, my son wears his curly coif, his nappy fro, his twisted coily mane is really…



  • Comments ( 8 )

  • avatar
    Ruthie Palmer

    His hair is beautiful & you’re absolutely right; it’s you & Brian’s choice solely – PERIOD.

    • avatar

      Thanks Ruthie. Cheers to that!

  • avatar

    This reminds of another question folks love to ask: Are you going to have any more children? Again, none of your business 🙂

    • avatar

      So true Moira. After so many years of being asked questions about family planning, I’ve come up with some really good responses that stops the line of questioning in it’s tracks. 🙂

  • avatar
    Jacqueise Unonu

    Yes!!! This is a great post. My daughter’s hair is in nice braids most of the week for protective styling but on the weekends I let it free. Sometimes that may be what’s known as a”puff”in the natural hair world. The “oh, I like her hair like that” when it gets “done” again, the “are you going to do her hair? “, or the “her hair is all over her head” remarks really erk me! Mind you my problem really only comes from family! Well, needless to say she will continue to wear her beautiful curls as I please. Now that I have a new son, I see the same issue in the future. Bring it on! Lol….sorry for the long winded response…WOOSAH

    • avatar

      No need to apologize. This post was meant to evoke conversation for parents everywhere that need a “I’ve had enough…Woosah” moment. You’re in good hands. 😉

  • avatar
    Kim Kerr

    I loooove your son’s hair! 😉

    • avatar

      Thank you Kim.

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