This is a departure from my norm here. I just wanted to share what was on my heart.
I was 16. I was 16 when the plane didn’t return. I remember watching the news, listening to the radio, reading the newspaper and wondering if I was in the middle of a dream. For some reason, that was my father’s face on the front of the newspaper. For some reason my name along with my siblings and mom were listed as next of kin. And for some reason, the plane disappeared from radar…never to be seen again.
They looked, they searched but just like that my father and others were never to be seen again. My heart aches for the loved ones affected by the disappearance of Malaysia flight 370. So it is with great perspective that I write this.
What you should know about flight 370?
It’s the same but different. Even though the situation I went through many years ago was similar in a lot of ways, in many ways it is different. I was allowed to absorb my loss quietly. There was no Facebook or Twitter. There were not millions of eyes and cameras gawking at me sometimes in person…sometimes from distance. Life was still for a while. But stillness is what I needed.
When I wanted to have time to myself to grieve and be still, I avoided the newspaper, didn’t watch the news, turned off the radio. How do these families turn off a media frenzy? How do they turn off the fact that their most private moments of disbelieve, pain and grief are plastered all over the media? I don’t know.
We may never know. It goes without saying that loved ones are missing. Analysts are theorizing about every possibility that they can think of but theories don’t bring back people. Although, I don’t wish that for those affected, we may never know what happened. In many ways, not knowing is worse than knowing.
Years pass and your mind wonders off about what happened, didn’t happen and how the only people that know what happened can’t tell you. How do you grieve when there is no casket? How do you grieve when their is no closure? I would love one of the news analysts to cover that. Let’s put some focus on helping those who have “loves” lost.
It’s tough but, you will make it. It will take years, decades even. But, eventually you will stop scanning faces in the crowd to see if they look like your own. You will laugh again. You will find joy and hopefully peace.
It’s a teachable moment. Use the devastation as a reason to hug tighter, kiss longer, dream bigger. I don’t just mean to tell your kids to dream bigger… but you dream bigger. Life is fleeting. Style the life of your dreams by living your life with passion if only in bursts at first but eventually in waves, tsunamis…explosions. Find what fuels you and once you find it, hold on tight and don’t ever…ever let go.
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